Your partner can’t rise above the story you hold true about them

In every relationship - besides the joy, ease, peace and pleasure they bring - there are triggers, trauma-stories and childhood patterns that influence our relating. This is part of being human - and a reason why the mirror of romantic relationship is so important for our growth. It all comes up, one way or another!

In healthy dynamics, we’re aware and take responsibility for our patterns and stories. And - our partner gets intimate with these stories, aims to be considerate towards our nervous-system when we’re in pain and holds space for their beloved to return to the home of love.

Through this familiarity with each other’s ‘stories’

Be it conscious: 

• When she’s fearful to set a boundary and you acting out the situation together beforehand to gain confidence

• Or your tease-full invitation to get him back into his body when he’s not present

Be it unconscious

• When she stumbles setting a boundary and you thinking ‘she always does this.’

• Or rolling your eyes towards his inability to feel you

 we create stories in our head about what our partner is like.

(Relationship wisdom 1.1. Never say: ‘You ALWAYS or NEVER do…’ I have yet to meet a person who doesn’t feel cornered when this is uttered..)

This is, of course, normal.
Yet. 
What if the stories get too rusty?
What if your partner can’t rise above the story you’ve build in your head about them?

Is he ‘not in his masculine’ or just not in the exact way you envision him to?
Is she truly lousy at setting boundaries or has she made incredible progress?
Is he really that unreliable or are you perhaps controlling?
Does she NEVER instigate sex or are you a little insatiable?
Is he ALWAYS lazy or is he better at relaxing than you are?
Is she too sensitive or are you unable to hold the glorious expression of her heart?

I’m not saying some stories about our partners aren’t true. I am suggesting seeing them with new eyes, the eyes of the divine - and watch new layers of their true being unravel. 

What if, for a moment, we take away the history and see our partner with new eyes?
What if, every day, we’d look into our beloved’s eyes and see the divine reflected back at us?
God & Goddess
Shiva & Shakti incarnate?

What if we reminded our love of their power, of the truth of love they are, any time they forget?

What a gift that would be.
What an incredibly generous gift that would be!